Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’

More or Less

When I became pregnant, I knew motherhood would change me – more or less.

Now that I’ve been a mom for two years, I’ve realized just how much that was true.

I know more about the characters and general storylines of “Sofia the First” and “Doc McStuffins.”

I can survive on less sleep.

We own more pairs of sparkly shoes and choosing which pair to wear on any given day is serious business.

While I still like to look my best, I’ve modified my routine to spend less time getting ready and more time enjoying morning snuggles.

I care less about having an immaculate house and more about whether Little C’s enjoying her books and toys and not being afraid to make a little mess once in awhile. (But let’s be honest, I never cared too much about having a perfectly clean house.)

I think more about spending quality time together, and wonder if the quanitity is enough, too.

Sitting down to a hot meal happens less, after cutting up chicken nuggets and picking up dropped forks and refilling empty milk glasses.

I worry more about the things that matter and less about the things that don’t.

I’ve listened to more renditions of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” and the silly made-up songs she invents in the car.

I have more patience…except for the days I have less.

I pray more – for her, for me, for the world in which she’ll live and grow and, hopefully, make a better place.

I appreciate my own parents more. Much, much more.

I’ve fallen more in love watching Big C as a daddy and sharing this journey of parenthood with him.

I spend less money on myself, but I have found many more riches than I ever imagined.

My days are filled with more laughter, more peace, more joy, and more love than I thought possible.

So, has motherhood changed me? More or less.Two Days Old

Day 13: Moms are Special People

Twenty months ago today, at 4:41 p.m., I became Little C’s mom. Well, I suppose that really happened about nine months earlier, but that was the moment we met face to face.

Hospital

Words can’t describe the last 20 months. It’s been amazing, difficult, joyful, worrisome, stressful, and better than I ever, EVER imagined. Especially since I was pretty convinced that I’d never have the opportunity to bear a child of my own.

A four-year journey through infertility had finally led me to make peace with the idea that our family may never grow biologically, and I was ready to explore foster care and adoption. We became licensed foster parents but had not yet had the chance to care for any children when we found out Little C would be joining us in March of 2013.

Easter 2013

I was thrilled beyond my wildest dreams and scared like I’ve never been scared before, all at the same time.

I think that pretty much sums up motherhood, no matter how old your kids are. They are, simultaneously, the source of unimaginable joy and deepest concern, and I didn’t fully understand that until that afternoon when Big C had the pleasure of announcing to the room “It’s a little girl. And she’s beautiful.”

I know Little C and I will have our days – weeks – maybe even months – when we don’t get along. It’s what happens between mothers and daughters as one is trying to hold on to the little girl in pigtails and the other is stretching her wings to fly out of the nest. I just pray that no matter what we may be at odds about, that I always make sure Little C knows I love her unconditionally and will do anything in my power to keep her safe and help her make right choices in her life.

Baraboo

And I hope, someday, she will be able to experience the amazing phenomenon that is motherhood, whether it’s children she carries in her womb or children she chooses to love through foster care or adoption. It’s truly one of the greatest gifts a woman can receive.

Little C, my little farm girl, I wish you a happy “birthday” today and pray that one day, you too may know what it feels like to be somebody’s momma.

In case you missed one:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12